"Don’t you dare
It was you
Who saved my life.
If that does not
Then I guess
More about me
Than it does
To a friend who killed herself.
I guess I’ll never really understand why you did it, why you decided to cast off life like an itchy old sweater, why you decided the pain was so unbearable that the wound would never heal. I’ll never understand how you could have drowned without me noticing, how you could have smiled while the air was made of lead and your organs made of iron. You were brave, but you were too brave. Why did you run into battle alone? Maybe I couldn’t have saved you from the booming bombs and falling shrapnel. Maybe you still would have fallen on the burnt and desolate ground, but I would have run beside you.
I guess you’ll never really understand the love. I guess you’ll never see the thousand faces in the crowded church. You’ll never see the bleary eyes all dressed in black; we who would have moved time and space for you to live. Here we gathered, the loved ones, now so useless. We would have helped, we would have tried. You should have let us try.
Did you know how final death was when you did it? Was the fire just too hot? Was the ice-age just too cold? Did our love become too distant; drowned out by screams and battle cries as your inner war surrounded you?
I am not angry, I am just disappointed. I am so disappointed that I will never fully recover. Though most of me will wake up, part of me stays in this nightmare forever.
But beyond all that I’m grateful. I’m grateful that you struggled against the hurt and the pain. I’m grateful that you tried so hard for so long. I’m grateful that despite the hidden suffering, you made my life so much better, so much warmer. I feel so lucky to have known you at all, most people never had the pleasure, asking for more time with you seems selfish.
"I wish friends held hands more often, like the children I see on the streets sometimes. I’m not sure why we have to grow up and get embarrassed about it."
a restaurant in my hometown got a review that said the servers should “show some skin” so the owner added a potato skin special to the menu and all the proceeds from the special go to the west virginia foundation for rape information services (x)
"I hate the word “Homophobia”. It’s not a phobia. Your not scared. You’re an asshole!"
"When people say “You’ve changed” there’s a 95% chance that you just stopped acting the way they wanted you to."
"I’m sick of saying the words gay and lesbian. It’s just people…One day I want my son to come home from school and be like, ‘Dad, I found this guy and I love him.’ And I’ll be like, ‘Yes, you do and that’s OK!’ I so want that."